i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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