You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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