For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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