Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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