this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
