Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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