ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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