this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you would pick up someone in the library
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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