can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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