yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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