I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
