I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i out mim tonsoeep
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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