Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
