I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize