So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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