On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
