I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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