He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
