Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
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we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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