No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
