dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize