highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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