Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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