How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
FUCK WHALES
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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