doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
