Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize