tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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