hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
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Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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