I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
