She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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