I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
