that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
