Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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