You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize