Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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