In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
