And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize