Quick, to the slutcave!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
