I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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