so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
