that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
