So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I touched a dick in church today
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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