just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize