First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
