marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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