Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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