I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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