When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize