I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
