I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
