Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
