Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
