Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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