Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
time to smoke my breakfast
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
