That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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