There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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