i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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