just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
